Chemo Round 3

As mentioned in my previous posts, chemo makes me tired.  Life makes me tired.  Being a mom makes me tired.  I feel like I am always, always tired. (Except now, when it's 3:00 am and I can't sleep!) Our Vegas trip was spent sleeping! I felt like a cat, sleeping for 22 of the 24 hours of the day.  It never seems that I can get enough sleep.  Well, after my second round of chemo, and from my blood draw preparing me for my third round of chemo, we found a medical reason WHY I was so tired.  My red blood cells were quite low, and my platelets too!  My body had been working overtime trying to recover from chemo, and I had been working my body overtime trying to continue life on as normal, you know with school, work, being a wife and a mom!  No wonder why I was utterly exhausted! No wonder why I wanted to take a nap at 8:30 in the morning, when I just woke up 7:00!  No wonder why I was in bed every night at 9:00, and that was only because my kids didn't got to bed until 8:30.  No wonder why I was so dang tired!

Although my blood count was low, my platelets normal range should be between 150,000-400,000, and mine were at 108,000, it wasn't low enough to change up my chemo treatment.  My doctor still followed the original treatment plan, and we will continue to monitor my blood count (which we do anyway).  So, on Friday, January 17th, I had my third round of chemo! Wahoo! Half way point! I invited my book club girlfriends this time, who were the ones who organized my fundraiser too! (I know. I know. I still need to do a post on that!) Not everyone could make it, but they were with me in spirit.  However, I did have a great time with the ones who could come! Love them!  Get us in a room and you are bound to hear some interesting conversations! :)  My sister came by for a bit too and Ian stopped by for a bit.  It is sad when life is so crazy busy that our new meeting place has to  be at my chemo appointments.  If I had more time, I'd probably suggest reading two books a month just so I could see these ladies more often!

Anyway, back to chemo.  Chemo round 3 has been the absolute worst by far!  A good indication that it was going to be a cruddy go-around was A.  I was already exhausted and we had the low blood counts to prove my body wasn't up to par. B.  I woke up with diarrhea the morning of chemo. and C.  I came home with nausea directly after chemo!  During my doctor appointment, I asked him for some different anti-nausea meds, but he said since nausea seems to be my only major side effect, that I will just have to push through.  Which I was fine with, because typically by day 3 post chemo, I am able to function pretty well with the nausea lingering.  I was grateful that my chemo treatment fell on a holiday weekend, which meant that I can sleep still on Monday and be back to work by Tuesday.  Boy was I wrong! 

I slept most of the day on Saturday.  All day on Sunday.  And I mean all day.  I woke up at 6 in the morning to be with my youngest son, who woke up at one in the morning throwing up everywhere!  (On a side note, one of my kids have been sick either during or after every single round of chemo I have had so far!)  In which Ian was up all night with him, so I wanted to give Ian a little bit of a break.  I then went back to bed at 8:30 and slept until 2:30.  Got up to try and spend some time with my family and was back in bed at 6:00.  I then slept most of the day Monday.  Ian ended up staying home from work to be with the kids, because Blake still was throwing up a little bit, and I was far from being able to function as a human being yet.  The moments I was awake, I was combating horrific nausea, a nasty metal taste in my mouth, a burnt tongue and throat, diarrhea, and vomiting!  

On Tuesday, I felt horrible, but it was my day 3 post chemo.  I was suppose to be out of bed.  I was suppose to be to work.  I got my kids ready for the day.  I got myself ready for the day.  I was going to push through.  I am tough.  I can do this.  WRONG!  I dropped my kids off to my sister-in-law, called in sick to work and went back to  bed!  Wednesday was the exact same way!  I couldn't stand it!  What's wrong with me!?!  Why am I not at work?  Why am still in bed?  Why won't my stomach stop hurting?  Why do I have diarrhea?  Why am I vomiting?  Why have I not eaten a single thing since last Friday?  BECAUSE I HAVE BREAST CANCER AND AM GOING THROUGH CHEMO THERAPY!!!  Duh Ryan!  It's okay to take a sick day, or two, or a week!  My body needs it!  I was told this through a new friend of mine who is battling the same disease, just different stage in the journey.

By Wednesday night, I was tired of feeling so cruddy.  I decided to go into the ER and get an IV bag of fluids.  I called the on-call doctor before going in.  He said the choice was mine to go to the ER, but he recommended for me to wait until the morning and just go into the infusion clinic and get fluids.  His advice sounded dandy, but I've been through hell, and I didn't want to deal with it any longer.  I didn't feel dehydrated, but was just hoping that the fluids would get me started in the right direction.  Since I wasn't eating, and I was barely drinking, because water even tasted that horrible, I was getting desperate for something.  

I took an Ativan just before going to the ER, and then threw up again.  So I wasn't sure how much I actually was able to get into my system.  While at the ER, they gave me another 1 mg of Ativan, some Benadryl, and an IV bag of fluids.  I fell asleep.  I slept good.  I felt great.  Good thing Ian was with me, because I wouldn't have been able to drive myself home, I was so groggy when they woke me up! I slept great that night, and felt a little better Thursday morning.  I decided I could push through.  I went to work! Although I felt cruddy, it was great to be among the living again.  I took some noodle soup/chicken broth to work with me.  I still had  hardly eaten anything up to this point.  That chicken broth tasted so divine!  It didn't stay in my body long.  I wasn't out of the woods.  Still diarrhea.  Still throwing up.

I continued to push through.  I bathed my kids that night.  I was a mom again!  I was happy.  It was short lived!  I was up in the middle of the night with diarrhea again!  GRRRRRR  I took some more anti-diarrhea meds.  Prayed they'd work.  They finally did! I only made it to work for 2 hours on Friday.  Went to my Herceptin treatment.  My dad, mom, and sister came.  They tried to force me to eat.  I couldn't.  Everything I ate tasted like the smell of burnt hair.  Yeah, trying swallowing your food, whatever it may be, donuts, chips, salad, chicken, candy, soda, water, crackers, etc. and it all tastes like  burnt hair!  Makes eating really, really difficult.  I have lost probably over 5 pounds from this past week.  From round three of chemo.  

By Saturday, I began to feel "normal" again.  And by normal, that means just better than the day before.  I've pushed through.  I've started to drink more water and I was able to eat part of my meal for dinner tonight.  And lemon heads seem to be the only thing I can eat that actually tastes like what it is suppose to! Now only if they had any nutritional value to them.

On a good note from this horrible week, my energy levels have improved!  I've been able to get some good rest.  Except for tonight, of course.  It's rolling up on 4:00 AM! 

One thing I've learned from this round is that it is okay to rest.  I don't have to be superwoman.  My body needs the time to recover, and I need to allow it!  For my next round, I will make sure that I have sub plans prepared.  I will make sure that I will have babysitting and meal plans and school work prepared.  So I don't have to feel guilty about recovering from chemo.  Come on!  That is the silliest thing I've ever heard, and it's coming from me!  Feel guilty from recovering from chemo!  I got to get it together! I can do this.  We can do this!  And it's okay to sleep!  

And again, thank you all so much for your constant love and prayers.  Thanks for your support.  Thanks for your kind words.  We're in this fight together!