Two steps forward, One step back...

Time for another update.  Medical update.  The fundraiser update will hopefully be coming soon! I had my first chemo treatment today, and I'll get to that later on in this post, but I figure I better update the blog now just in case I am knocked down for the next couple of days.

I believe you all may be waiting for the results from my PET Scan.  Ian was anxious for the results, and I should have been, but I was just overwhelmed with the additional doctor's appointments that I had waiting for me, and my upcoming surgery, Thanksgiving and being able to just spend time with family, that I just wanted to not think about it.  Fortunately, I met with my nurse coordinator on  Tuesday, November 26th and she was able to pull up our results.  She warned us that since she isn't the doctor, she doesn't necessarily understand all of the medical jargon, so she may not be able to provide the information we are looking for.  However, our results were easy and clear to read and she said Well, there isn't any additional cancer colonized anywhere else in your body.  Phew! Wahoo! That's exactly what we wanted to hear! Then she continued to say Your report does state that there is hyper-metabolic activity in the lymph nodes in your upper arm pit and in the lymph nodes under your pectoral muscle in your right breast. The extra activity could be cancer or it could be inflammation from the recent surgeries.   We were aware of these lymph nodes from the MRI results, so we felt that the PET Scan results were in our favor.  We left that appointment elated with good news!

After that appointment, I went to a "Look good. Feel better" make-up appointment.  This is a volunteer program with donated make-up and facial products, to teach women who are going through treatments, how to take care of their skin and apply make-up.  In turn this will help women feel better about themselves, hence "Look Good. Feel Better."  It was fun to go to.  Plus my sister came with me, so it was nice to be able to spend some time with her.  Also, we were able to look at different wigs from a local gal who runs a local wig shop.  I thought I was okay with losing my hair, but on this particular day the reality sunk in really hard, and I realized that I like my hair more than I thought.  I tried on a couple of wigs.  It's not me.  But it's a new reality that I will learn to get used to in a few short weeks.

On Wednesday, November 27th, I went in bright and early for another surgery.  I was exhausted this day, from the events of the previous week and late nights, that I was look forward to surgery.  Surgery day means my day to sleep.  So, I woke up bright and early, showered, and headed over to surgery in my pajamas.  Makes it easier to be able to come home from surgery and climb right back into bed. :)  I'm a smart girl! I know my stuff! We had to wait a bit for my surgeon to be ready, but while waiting we were able to meet with the surgical staff.  We talked with my anesthesiologist.  He informed us of his process.  He then told me that he would be "breathing" for me. Huh?  Since, my port placement is so close to my lungs, there is a risk from the surgeon to nick my lung in turn puncturing it.  Because of this risk, they deflated my lungs during the surgery.  Fortunately, they did not nick my lung, and there haven't been any side effects from the surgery.  My port was placed.  My recovery went well.  I can feel and see the catheter line, and it has taken me about a week to get used to it in my body.  My port is in my left chest, top of my breast, with the catheter line running just above it.  It is all under the skin.  Connected to a main vein that runs to my heart.  It's been accessed twice this week, and its quite convenient.  Grateful for this option, instead of being poked in the arm weekly!

Thanksgiving came! My family came!  It was great to see them.  It was great to enjoy a delicious meal.  It was great to not have to cook. Surgery the day before really had an impact on that decision, but I wasn't going to argue.  We also went Christmas tree hunting with Ian's brothers and their families the following Saturday.  I was still in a little pain, but so grateful that I didn't have to miss out on this family tradition.  I look forward to it every year, and we had a blast!  We got our "Charlie Brown" Christmas tree, and my kids seem to love it!  I hope that you all had and enjoyable Thanksgiving, and that your Christmas holiday is enjoyable too!

On Monday, December 2nd, I had an appointment with an occupational therapist that specializes in Lymphedema.  Since I had lymph nodes removed from my arm, I'm at an increase risk of getting lymphedma.  Lymphedema is an irreversible damage to the arm, where it swells up will fluid because my I don't have the lymph nodes to moved the fluid/infection throughout my body.  At this appointment, my therapist taught me techniques that I can use to move swelling and fluid out of my arm.  She also gave me a prescription to get a compression sleeve that I am to wear during the day.  I am taking a proactive approach.  Trying to be aware of any swelling, so that I can hopefully catch the lymphedema in the early stages.  There is no guarantee that I'll get it, but I'd like to know what to be cautious for and know what I can do to increase my chances of preventing it.

On Wednesday, December 4th, we met with our medical oncologist again.  This will be a typical occurrence every time I go in for a chemo treatment.  I go in for a blood draw, and then he gets my results to see my cell count, which better guides him the mixture of the chemo treatments.  Also during this appointment he went over our PET Scan results with us.  He told him that our Nurse Coordinator already shared those results with us, but we'd like to hear his input.  He restated what we already knew, but then offered his opinion on how he would suggest a change in our treatment plan.  He spoke with our radiation oncologist prior to our appointment, and among the two of them, they suggest that because of those inflamed lymph nodes, they are suggesting a mastectomy.  And because reconstructive surgery is quite difficult to do with one natural breast and on removed breast, the mastectomy should be double.

We weren't expecting this news.  We were quite frustrated.  It feels that everything up to this point was all for naught.  We are dealing with differing opinions from our oncologists and surgeon.  We feel we are dealing with a medical opinion to perform a major surgery based on a "well, it could be cancer, but we don't know for sure."  And our surgeons opinion of "mastectomies aren't always necessary, because lumpectomies with radiation treatments are very successful."  Needless to say, we left that appointment a little frustrated, to say the least.  We will still continue with chemo treatments now, and if we decide to go ahead with the surgery it will be done after chemo but before radiation.  We will still meet with our Genetecist on the 10th, and if I test positive for the BRCA gene, that a mastectomy will for sure be in the plan ahead.

After that appointment, I get a call from my sis-in-law, who is watching my kids, and tells me Liv isn't feeling well. :( She sounds croupy.  So I called her doctor's office and was able to get her in that afternoon.  I went to pick her up, and sure enough, she was croupy.  BAD! Poor girl.  The PA that I saw gave her a steroid shot, and gave me some steroid pills to give her.  I informed them that I will be starting my chemo treatments the next day, and that I was concerned with her being sick and me starting chemo.  She looked concerned and said, be careful because croup is highly contagious.  Great. Just great.  I feel bad enough that I may have some bad days that I won't be able to take care of my sick kids, even worse that I won't be able to take care of them when they are sick!

Our evening was full of stress and frustration.  Tears and exhaustion.  Worry and concern.

I woke up this morning feeling the same way!  I was quite anxious about my chemo treatments.  Because of the unknown, but more so because I was concerned about getting sick with what Liv has.  What Ian had.  What has been floating around my house and school.  Sickness scares me.  Germs scare me.  Not usually, because typically my immune system is quite strong, but now that it will be weakened from chemo, I have a higher concern for it.

I was stressing all morning.  Kept myself busy by doing some laundry.  Cleaning up the house.  Cuddling with my sick baby.  My friends stopped by to give me a beautiful quilt that they made for me.  It was nice to visit with them.  And then the peace and comfort came at about 11:45.  My mom was at my house by this time.  She was helping with my kids, and I was getting ready to get to my appointment by noon.  I remember, as I was getting ready, just feeling that everything was going to be okay.  I didn't have the stress about Liv's sickness affecting me.  I just stopped worrying about it.

Ian and I headed to our chemo appointment.  I dressed in my comfy pajamas and my Fight for Ryan shirt.  Ian wore his shirt too, and Boston wore his to school!  It will be common attire for chemo days. I had my blanket.  Ian had our technology devices.  We were ready to get this first chemo treatment behind us.  And to our surprise, it went quite well.  When we first arrived, I talked to my nurse about Liv being sick.  She said, that's okay for now, since my cell count is up.  She said we need to be cautious around her, but that I won't be at my weakest cell level until between days 10-14, and then it will start to peak back up until we start the process again at day 21.  Phew!  That was a relief to me.  I will be quite cautious at day 10, but made my stress level decrease some.

They begin my chemo treatments with some saline and an anti-nausea medication.  Then my Herceptin.  Then the Taxotere.  Then my Carboplatin.  These were all given one at a time, on a slow drip.  We had to watch and make sure that I didn't have any allergic reactions to the medications.  I didn't!  So next time my treatments will be a lot quicker.  I was there for about 4 hours, but next time it will only be about 2.  My Herceptin treatments will be weekly, and those will only  be about 30 minutes.  I will go back tomorrow for an immune booster shot.  I've heard that it's the shot that causes the mean side effects.  We shall see.

I was given some advice from one cancer survivor to chew cinnamon gum during treatments.  This will help to ward off the taste of chemo.  The metal taste.  Iron taste.  Like I've been sucking on pennies.  Well, it must've worked, because I didn't taste anything.  Ian and I played on our phones.  Followed Facebook. Ian did some "classes" for work on the laptop.  I began reading a good book.  The hospital will "provide" lunch for me.  So I order a sandwich.  Just a "relaxing day at the spa." ;)
However, that metal taste began to creep in when I spit my gum out.  My mouth now feels a little cottony dry.  But other than that, I'm doing okay.

I've been prescribed three different anti-nausea medications.  I take them in a tiered order.  The first one is for prevention of nausea.  If that doesn't work and I begin having nausea and vomiting, I take the 2nd pill.  If the second pill doesn't work, then I take the third, which is one that will actually help me sleep too! Maybe just to avoid it all. ;)  The trick is to stay on top of it.  Don't wait until I feel sick, but to take the medication to prevent any of the sickness from happening.  So, I will definitely be taking the first pill on a regular basis.  The third pill at night.  And the number 2 pill as needed.  I just hope I don't need it.  I can't afford to lose weight, so I don't want to deal with nausea and vomiting!!!

We've had a draining couple of days, leading up to this day.  However, I am grateful that it has turned out well.  I am going to rest the rest of the weekend.  No work for me tomorrow, so I can see how my body responds to all of this new medication.

Thank you so much for all of your prayers.  Thank you so much for all of your thinking of  you's.  Thank you so much for her virtual hugs and support!  I feel it.  We feel it!  We recognize the strength through you all.  We got this in the bag!  One chemo treatment down, and only 5 more to go!