An Overdue Update!

I apologize, it has been awhile since I have posted last.  I've been busy.  I feel like I've been really, really busy.  Which makes me really, really tired.  Which makes my brain turn in to a mushy, mushy mess.  So, I will try my best to remember where I left off and to remember what has happened since then.

I went in and had an MRI done on Friday, November 15th.  I've never experienced that before, nor do I care to experience it ever, ever again.  It was loud! It was long! It was annoyingly loud and long.  I had to lay face down on the table, arms extended over my head, ya know, superman flying position, minus the cape and the flying.  I had to lay like that for 45 minutes or so, not able to move, while in a tube like machine with what sounded like a jackhammer going off in my ear.  Loud. Thank goodness for earplugs, because I guess it could've been worse.  My arms fell asleep.  They were quite numb.  My body would twitch against my own good will to lay perfectly still.  I was afraid I ruined the image and would have to lay there longer as I had to do it all over again.  Thank heavens I did not, because that 45 minutes was enough!

I never saw the results of the MRI.  My oncologist talked to us about the results when we met with him.  He didn't go into great detail.  Fortunately, there weren't any "gremlins" hiding in my left breast.  However, he did say that there were additional inflamed lymph nodes in my right side.  Some were up closer to my neck, near my collar bone, and some were under my pectoral muscle.  However, since the MRI was done 9 days post surgery, the inflammation could have been caused by surgery or it could be additional cancer.  Since my treatment will consist of chemo therapy and radiation therapy, then there isn't much cause for concern with inflamed lymph nodes.  They will be taken care of in due time.

On Wednesday, November 20th, Ian and I finally met with our oncologist.  We anticipated this day.  We wanted to know who he was.  We wanted to know his opinion.  We wanted to get treatment started.  However, we left this appointment a little annoyed.  We understand that it is our doctor's who get to "educate" us on our medical journey.  They get to teach us about the diagnoses, procedures, treatment plans.  Unfortunately, for our oncologist, we've already met with several doctors before him.  We've been educated.  We've been informed.  We're tired of hearing the same stories and having the same breast cancer history lessons over and over again.  And I'm tired of filling out the same paper work over and over again.

I'm grateful for my oncologist.  But, it took a minute to warm up to him.  He seemed to approach us differently than we're used to, but I think that we're going to get along just fine.  I hope. We'll see how our next appointment goes on December 4th.  Apparently we meet with him before every chemo treatment, so we need to get along well, because  he will be a great big part of my life for these next five months!

He talked about my treatment plan.  He talked about my chemo treatments.  He talked about my Herceptin treatments.  He reconfirmed that for the first few months I will be receiving Herceptin on a weekly basis.  He reiterated that the Herceptin will not cause me to lose my hair.  He told us that I will have chemo treatments done once every three weeks.  He reiterated that the chemo WILL cause me to lose my hair.  The hair fall out will happen within the first seventeen days of the first chemo treatment.  However, most people typically shave their head before it starts to fall out, to avoid the dramatic fall out in the shower and waking up with chunks all over the pillow, and because it actually hurts when your hair falls out.  The pain is related to the hair follicles loosening and what not. So, since my first chemo treatment will be on Thursday, December 5th, I will most likely be bald by Christmas.  Hopefully I get some cute hats and scarves in my stocking. ;)

Because I will be having Herceptin treatments, he ordered for me to get an echo-cardiogram.  Apparently Herceptin can cause heart damage, minimal risk, but they will monitor my heart to track any change.  The echo-cardiogram now is to create a baseline, to know what to compare my future echo-cardiograms to.  He also ordered for me to have a PET Scan.  This scan is a whole body scan to see if cancer has colonized anywhere else in my body.  Because it is/was in the lymph nodes, this tells us that it is already in my blood stream.  Which means it has access to the rest of my body.  Because I am HER2+, this aggressive cancer likes to make homes anywhere it can.  The PET Scan will tell us if there are any homes elsewhere, typical areas with high blood concentration, since that is where the cancer will get its nutrients.  The areas of major concern will be liver, kidneys, brain, lungs, bone.  Fingers crossed, prayers given, that there isn't any cancer anywhere else in my body.

The PET Scan was another difficult experience, mainly on my own doing.  In order to have a PET Scan you need to be on a special diet for 24 hours. This diet consists of only protein, green vegetables, and water.  No sugar, no dairy, no carbs.  Ummmm, I don't  have a lot of options in my fridge to support such a diet.  And I was only given a few hours notice to be on such a diet, that I didn't really prepare for such.  I got busy with work, that I didn't have time to eat anything.  When I got home from work I ate three eggs.  Blech! It makes me sick just thinking about it!  I then prepared something for my family to eat.  Something simple, because heaven forbid I break my back fixing them something good while I starve! ;)  Then the hubs and I went to a movie.  Talk about torture.  A movie, on an empty stomach, the smell of buttered popcorn in the air.  I was miserably hungry by the time the movie let out and I had just an hour before I would be on a strictly water only diet.  We stopped at the grocery store and bought me some broccoli and cauliflower.  Never had that stuff tasted so good.

My PET Scan was scheduled for Friday, November 22nd at 12:30.  I had my echo-cardiogram the same day at 10:00 in the morning.  I couldn't wait until 2:00 that afternoon until I could eat a decent meal again.  My echo-cardiogram seemed to go fine.  My PET Scan seemed to go fine too.  I won't know either of the results until I meet with my oncologist again on December 4th.  I wish I could've seen the PET Scan in action.  You see the special fast is to starve the body, and cancer of sugar, "energy."  Then I get injected with some radioactive dye and drink some nastified glucose drink.  While drinking this drink I get to sit in a room for an hour, and then I get to go in the machine for them to take images of my body.  What happens when this glucose and dye are back in my body, is my cells are starving for that energy, so it goes directly to where it's needed most, my heart, lungs, brain.  Well, cancer loves that energy too.  It's their livelihood. So they start grabbing onto that drink as quickly as possible, so if I have any special "glowing spots" throughout my body, where my body isn't suppose to be glowing, then this signals to the doctors where cancer has formed its additional homes.  Please continue to pray that those damn "gremlins" haven't multiplied and colonized throughout my body.

Well, since my doctor's appointment this past Wednesday, I feel like my phone hasn't stopped ringing! I've been getting several calls about additional doctor appointments,  or from the hospital having to pre-register me for my labs and/or surgery.  My brain gets really tired trying to keep track of all of these doctor appointments, let alone my own work responsibilities and family responsibilities.

I met with my surgeon again this afternoon.  She talked to me about my port placement.  I will have another surgery on Wednesday morning to have my port placed.  I've been utterly exhausted from this past week and weekend, because my friends put on an AWESOME fundraiser. (I will do an entirely different post for that. Hopefully tomorrow.)  Because I am so tired, I am actually looking forward to surgery.  Only because I get to sleep the whole day!  I wake up really groggy from surgery, that I have to come home and sleep it off for a few hours before I can bounce back to myself again.  Crazy, I know.  But Wednesday can't seem to get here fast enough!

On a funny note, I reminded Boston again that I will be bald by Christmas.  He giggled again, and then said "Sorry Mom. I will try not to laugh. You just might look silly with no hair."  I really hope we can have a lot of giggles through this process and that my kids don't become worried or ashamed of their hairless mother.

As weird as it may sound, I'm excited to get my treatments started.  Not because I want to go through it, but because I want it to be over with.  I want to move on with my life.  I want to start screening my phone calls again. I hate having to answer every call because it's another doctor's office trying to schedule another appointment.  I want life to go back to normal.  I want to put cancer behind me.  I know this is a long journey, and I'm more than willing to do whatever it takes, but I also want it to be done and over with!

Again, thanks for the prayers and supports.  Thanks for fighting alongside me.  Thanks for caring how I'm doing on this journey.  I know a lot of you have offered your services to help.  Please be patient.  I have a lot of helping hands right now, and I don't know exactly where the help is needed at this point.  I've got to start chemo to know how my body will respond.  My doctor seems to think that I will respond well with minimal sickness, but only time will tell.  If he's right, then I'll continue to work.  It will be good to stay active and busy.  However, if this exhaustion keeps up, then we may have to rethink some things.  My oncologist prescribed some antidepressants to help me sleep.  I haven't started them yet.  Figure I'll wait until after surgery.  I hope it helps.  I'm sure it will.  If not, it'll help me function as I go through treatment.  Either way, win-win.

I hope you all enjoy your Thanksgiving feast.  I hope to update again soon.  Thanks for reading.  Love and blessings to you all. :)