The Surgery

I feel the need to preface this post with a warning.  I write this blog for me. For my journey through battling cancer. I feel that if I write about it, then it may seem more real to me.  But to be honest, I don't think I have fully accepted that I am battling cancer.  I was hoping that having the surgery would make it more real for me, but it hasn't yet.  Maybe it will feel more real when the swelling goes down and I can see what the results of the surgery are.  Maybe it will feel more real when I start treatment.  I don't know.  It's hard to accept because I don't FEEL sick.  Anyway, back to the warning. I write this blog to document this journey.  I take pictures to document as well.  In this post there are pictures of my breast to show the lumps and surgery marks.  The pictures are for me to remember.  The pictures are for others who are curious.  Either way, they aren't to offend or be insensitive.  This is my journey and my thoughts and feelings of what I am facing at the time. 

I went to work on Tuesday anxious and unfocused.  I had a lot to get done at work, to get prepared for a sub to take over for the next week as I recovered from surgery, but I was anxiously waiting for the phone call from the surgical center.  It was a sweet surprise as I got to work to see the sign hanging outside my classroom door, and to notice that everyone wore pink to support me.  It was nice to have teachers step in and help where they could, and a few employees from the district to come and help get some things organized before I went in to surgery.  It is great to work with such a supportive group of people who are willing to help me with whatever I need so I can focus on recovery and kicking cancer's butt! 

I was at work on Tuesday when I got the phone call of when I would go in for surgery.  I was relieved to learn that it was going to be first thing in the morning! I didn't want to have to wait around all day.  Surgery was the next step in my process of kicking cancer, and I have been waiting the last ten days to get this process started, so I didn't want to have to wait any longer.  

I needed to be at the surgery center at 7:30 in the morning.  I arranged for my sister-in-law to come over at 7:00 to be with the kids and be the one to drop them off at school and my other sister-in-law's house for babysitting.  It was great, because I didn't want to have to worry about getting my kids up and out of the house by 7:00, and even better that on Wednesday they decided to sleep in! I was sad that I didn't get to see them before going into surgery, but nice that I didn't have to worry about their needs as I got myself ready for surgery.




Here I am. All natural. No lotion. No make-up. No deoderant
Ready to get the party started!

 

We got to the surgery center right at 7:30.  My sister and my parents came too.  Bless their hearts for waiting in that waiting room all day.  The surgery center was a little busy that morning, but they finally got me checked in about 7:45.  It was a little chaotic first thing. 

They took me back to gown up, and then I was transported to another building across the very large parking lot to have another mammogram.  They used the mammogram to insert hook wires in my breast to guide the surgeon of where additional calcifications were located throughout my breast.  The surgeon wanted to remove as much of these calcifications as she could and biopsy them.  When we arrive for the mammogram, the tech asks "Why aren't you just getting a mastectomy?"  She continued to inform us that the calcifications are basically all over the breast from the nipple down, and that we should probably just do a mastectomy. This entered doubt and confusion on our minds.  This is a process we've never done before, so when the various medical staff ask us about different  medical procedures, and why we aren't doing them, we get flustered.  The tech also asked us why we hadn't done the nuclear dye procedure to follow the path of the lymph nodes.  Again, we didn't know the process.  We weren't sure of the answer.  However, we did know that cancer was already in the lymph nodes, and felt that procedure wasn't necessary because we already knew that some of the lymph nodes were going to be removed during surgery.  The hook wire procedure took about 45 minutes.  I left that office with blood all over my gown, two wires sticking out of my breast and poking me in my arm pit, and some confusion and frustration on my mind.  Ian was concerned too, and felt that the process of the morning should have been smoother than what we were facing.

After the hook wires were placed, we were transported back to the surgical center.  Surgery was suppose to begin at 9:15.  We got back to the surgical center just after 9:00.  However, our surgeon was finishing up another surgery, so it would be about 30 minutes or so until we were able to talk to her.  This was okay,  because the nurse  needed to place my IV, do a blood draw on me, and have me answer a few questions.  It was quite interesting when the nurse was placing my IV because she kept saying how cold I was, and that she has never worked with someone who was as cold as me.  Cold is something that I typically am.  I don't have a lot of insulation on my body, and I was wearing a thin little hospital gown.  However, I never felt cold! I was surprised at how much she kept talking about how cold I was, because I felt nothing but warmth and comfort. Granted, I did have 3 blankets on my legs, and one around my shoulders, but I truly feel that warmth and comfort came from the love and prayers that so many family, friends, and coworkers were saying on my behalf.

 

We finally met with our surgeon around 9:45.  She talked to us about what she was planning on doing.  She relieved all frustration and concern that we had from the previous interactions with other nurses and techs.  We felt ready to do this! We met with our anesthesiologist a while later, and I was wheeled into the OR around 10:45.  I don't remember entering the OR.  The anesthesiologist gave me something in my IV to relax, and that was the last thing I remember, until it was time to wake up in the recovery room.

I woke up groggy.  I woke up with pain in my arm pit.  I woke up ready to go home.  It was very difficult for me to open my eyes and lift my head, but I wanted to go home.  I don't remember much about the interactions with my family at that time. I was just grateful for a nurse who was okay to discharge me so I could get home and go to bed.  I got home around 3:00, climbed into bed and went to sleep.  It was nice being able to recover at home instead of laying in the uncomfortable hospital bed listening to my neighbor's TV and the constant beeping noises.

According to my family, the surgery went well.  My surgeon was able to remove the two lumps, and additional breast tissue.  She ended up removing more tissue than she anticipated, and we are waiting for those pathology results to determine a stage and exact treatment plan.  However, she did speculate a stage of a 2B, but that could change.  She ended up removing about 6 lymph nodes, and she'll biopsy those to determine if we have to remove more.  We are also going to do a genetic test to see if I carry the BRCA1 and BRCA2 gene, which if positive will greatly affect treatment and may include additional surgeries.

Here is a picture of the lumps. Some have asked, how did you find them?
After seeing this picture, you can see how. They were big. They were noticeable.



This is my incision under my breast. It is large.  It is glued shut!
I'm not in as much pain as I expected!



I will meet with her again in a week. On Halloween morning.  We will go over our test results, and set up a treatment plan.  It will take about 30 days for my body to fully recover from surgery, and then chemo will start.  At this point, the treatment plan will be chemo and radiation.  Not sure of the process, or if they happen simultaneously, but it is in my future.

Here is the incision in my arm pit. It hurts to lift my arm.  It feels heavy at times.  The doctor says to use it as much as I can, so I don't lose the ability.

The surgery is over.  I can't lift anything.  I can do side hugs on the left.  I wish I could  hold my babies, but they are too wiggly right now.  I won't be able to lift them into their car seats.  I took the rest of this week and all of next week off of work.  So did my mom.  She is and will continue to be a great help for me.  I love my family.  I love my friends.  I hate cancer, but we're getting through this!