What a week!!!

So, it has been six days since the diagnosis. Those six days have been the longest six days of my life.  It feels as if we have been living this nightmare for six months!  Saturday night was the first night that I went to bed on the same day I woke up on.  Meaning, I was asleep before midnight! All of the other nights, I have been up until 2:00 or 3:00 in the morning and waking up between 6:00 and 7:00.  I talk about and/or read about cancer when I am awake, and more often then not I am dreaming about it when I finally get to sleep.  I haven't been able to escape this new reality.  It's new.  It's shocking.  It's on our minds.

On Thursday, I got a phone call from my surgeon.  She informed me of the additional pathology results we were waiting for.  She offered some good news and some bad news, which when dealing with cancer, one would often think that it is all pretty much bad news.  However, I will take whatever good news we can at this point.  The good news is, is that the cancer cell that has taken up residence in my body is an Estrogen and Progesterone rich cancer cell.  The even better news is, is that it is 100% estrogen.  The good outcome of this is that there is an antibody called Tamoxifen that I will be taking to fight off this cancer cell.  However, I will most likely be taking Tamoxifen as a daily pill for five years. 

The bad news is that the cancer cells are HER2 positive, which means this is a very aggressive type of cancer.  Furthermore, this type of cancer cell can occur in other types of cancer, not just breast cancer.  The tentative plan treatment for HER2 are going to be Herceptin infusions that are done every 3 weeks for one year.  Additional bad news is that my lymph node did test positive for cancer cells, so that means that there are cancer cells most likely traveling through my blood stream. 

So the tentative treatment plan will go as follows:  I will have a lumpectomy on Wednesday, October 23rd.  During this procedure my surgeon will remove the two lumps at the bottom of my breast, remove a few lymph nodes in my arm pit, and remove a few more calcification spots that are throughout my breast.  The goal at this point is to save as much of my breast as possible.  The lumps and surrounding tissue will be biopsied further to see if all of the cancer cells have been removed.  If not, then I will have to go back under and most likely have a mastectomy.  If the lumpectomy goes well and my body recovers well, then chemotherapy will start about 30 days after surgery.  I haven't met with an oncologist yet, so we don't know the exact treatment plan, this is all coming from my surgeon.  My treatment plan will consist of chemo, radiation, herceptin treatments, and tamoxifen pills.  If we end up doing a mastectomy, then I probably won't be doing radiation.

On Friday I met with another young woman who is battling breast cancer herself.  She was a great help and offered a lot of "tricks" and advice as we begin our journey.  She prepared us for how it will be when my hair starts to fall out, and what type of pillow case is best to use.  She offered some little tips that will help me get through my chemo treatments, such as chewing gum, and not eating my favorite food, bring a warm comfy blanket, nose spray will be my new best friend, be prepared for canker sores in my mouth, and what types of socks work best when dealing with neurapathy.  These are little tips that only one could offer if they have gone through chemo themselves.  Every cancer patient's treatment plan is going to be different, but I feel so much better being a little better prepared for what to expect.

It's going to be a crappy road ahead. A crappy, crappy road, but we will get through this!  Because I will most likely be losing my hair the first part of December, I wanted to have some family pictures taken.  My mom is awesome, loves to take pictures, and has a nice camera, so on Saturday morning she snapped a few pictures for us.

Here is one of me, just to capture my long hair.  It hasn't been this long since Boston was a year old, five years ago! It's going to be a sad day when it's all gone. :/

I also wanted to get a few pictures of me with my individual kids, as well as Ian and I, and a few family pictures.

Family pictures are not my favorite.  My kids don't sit still.  But, my mom was able to capture a few great shots. 

After pictures, we sat the boys down and told them what was going to be happening to me.  We told them that I was sick and that I am going to need surgery and a lot of special medicine to help me get better.  We warned them that this special medicine was going to make me even more sick and that all of my hair will fall out.  When we told Boston that, he covered his hand over his mouth and just giggled.  My boys don't really understand what will be happening.  Why would they?  Ian and I don't fully understand what will be happening.  This is a process that we will just have to face and adapt as we go.  Boston is quite nervous and scared, along with Ian and I.  All of my kids will be shaped differently because of this challenge.  Heavenly Father must have created them to be strong, strong individuals, to be so young watching their mother battle cancer.  Please keep my kids in your prayers, and love them so much if you get the opportunity to play with them and take care of them while I am down. 

We are SO blessed with wonderful family, friends, and an awesome ward family.  We have a whole army full of Cancer Warriors.  We have people who are ready to do whatever it takes to help us get through this fight.  This is going to be a long, long process.  We appreciate all of your love and prayers and help.  Now, lets fight this fight and win!